Have you felt the first time you had your eyes see the sun sets? It’s like you never want to look away but have you seen the sun rise? I bet you might be falling for the latter or maybe both.
We long for the sensation that we have felt when we saw it for the first time and this is the moment when I’ll say that I love the feeling of knowing that you’ve felt that too when you saw me.
In between sorrows and prayers are pure bliss and countless mishaps. In between the love and comfort that we have for each other, there are blues and greys. Some seas that I would like to cross with you on those lonely nights as our hands tried to stretch out every cell in our bodies just to touch.
You are far away from me but in between the distance and time, there is a home that shines brighter than the sun. Your warmth burns the land and clock. You used to be revolving around my overheating fury and everlasting love. Now, you look so closely on my scorching heatwaves and let your fingers point towards it.
You hold me so close to get burn, but this time it wasn’t fine. You sailed just to be with the seas. Despite all your paddling, you will revolve around me. Forever entrapped yet in between sadness and regrets.
I, who waited for long hours just to see you
I, who waited for you despite having just an hour with you
You did too, didn’t you?
He is the gentle touch that you’ll feel from the breeze. He is the dawn that you’ll sit with even if you haven’t slept.
His love leaves traces of warmth. As he collides with me, I felt nothing but pure bliss. His genuine love makes all love irrelevant. I am glad to have closed all doors except for him – who made all other loves not worthy to look at. He is more than the one who can sing you lullaby for his love can calm the storm.
I am the storm, and I hope he can be always be the sun to embrace the darkness and give rainbows after my raging thoughts. He is the reason why I’d love to live longer in this life. I hope I will always feel the warmth of that gentle touch and sing me our lullaby every night.
He belongs to me like the sun to the universe.
He belongs to me like the waves to the shores.
He belongs to me even in darkness and still moments.
Sometimes you’ll seat on an empty couch with a tea on hand while wondering who you really are and who are you living for. There were days that you’re all over the moon, too in love to not say that you’re tired of living yet here we are at the edge of our seats – holding onto it like it’s our lifeline. Confused. Hurt.
Knowing that life may be unfair at times but we cannot attain what we desire because you live with people. We are all connected, every decision that we make affects one another. No matter what.
Who am I to you when I’m at the edge of my seat? Will you give up your seat and pull me back as if the tides pull each and every grain of sand back into the ocean or you’re just another bystander – watching me slowly slip away.
I’m too excited to grow old because of the assurance that I’ll have you around. In our house singing your favourite song, in our car tapping your steering wheel while drinking a coffee, and in our bedroom brushing my hair away from my face just to see how I peacefully sleep beside you. The eagerness that I have to live longer is certainly because of those things abovementioned.
I live for you. For the love that you’re giving me and for the future that you made me foresee. Despite the distance that we have, I wanted to stay with you even if it’s consuming me. I wanted to be beside you, I wanted to feel you more and more everyday. I do not want anyone to have you. I just want you all for myself. When I’m with you, I’m sure that the world is kind to me. I always see the brightest and happiest future when you are in it.
I hope you’ll stay with me the way I wanted, I hope you’re eager too.
It’s that morning stroll that you’ll have whenever you’re going to work or school. The moment where in you get lost in the sound of the city, never still and full of life. However, there are days when you have to vigorously immerse yourself with the environment that you are in. Your mind starts to feel numb due to the uproar of your endless depressing thoughts about how will you go on.
It’s not the question who or what makes you get up in the morning, it’s how will I survive another day of inadequate bliss and motivation? No matter how much you try to shift your perspective towards life, it’s like maneuvering a helm on a stormy night – pitch black and freezing cold. Such night can be encountered by a no pilot or captain because when the night hits and no right words came out of your red lips, I’ll be standing at the edge of the stem of a ship – shivering, gasping, and weeping.
The waves will lament with my sadness, as it catches my tears along with the life below. Yearning to be understood despite no language can make any of us converse with each other but we’re not like the sharks nor whales. We can communicate with the right words yet we chose to screech with the black waves.
You aren’t the sea, you don’t catch my tears when I cry in pain yet most of the time you are my lighthouse in that dark stormy night and overcast day. You are with me, in me, 70%.
I have to keep the boat afloat
Despite the holes
Even if I am drowning
To be with you is like looking at the sun directly. It may have made my eyes squint but I’d sit under the sun feeling the warmth while yearning for your burning love.
To love you is like loving the deepest seas of the Earth. It might have frightened my soul to explore with my feet off the ground yet just like those magical days with you, it keeps me up all night jittering and climbing the walls of fate and destiny that are too uncertain.
To hold you is like grasping for air when I’m drowning, desiring my lungs to be filled with oxygen even if greens are not seen between the sand and glass. Tick tock, a few grains of sand is left as I tried to pull the clock counterclockwise because I want more time with you.
I want to experience the scorching love while being lost in the deepest part of your soul while my time is running out.
Serendipity and Chaos of Life 